Being helpful without sounding preachy

As one who struggled for years with pornography addiction before managing to break free about 2-1/2 years ago, I try to offer support, encouragement guidance to others who struggle with pornography addiction and sometimes other sexual addictions through a few different websites.

One question I wrestle with is how to be helpful without sounding judgmental or preachy. As a Catholic, I look at the problem of pornography from a different perspective than many people. As with all sin, the major problem is that it goes against God’s will; all other consequences are secondary. Pornography and other manifestations of lust take something God intended to be sacred — the union of man and woman toward to the procreation of new human life — into something less than it is supposed to be.

Of course, most people who struggle with lust-related addictions seem to be primarily concerned with earthly consequences, such as the impact of their addiction on their relationships and the general quality of their life. Sometimes they want to “get control” of their problem, but they really have no intention of ordering their lives toward God’s plan for creation. I find it hard to be supportive in such cases, because I really don’t believe the changes they are struggling to make are going to bring them the true joy they were meant to experience through God’s plan. Ultimately, they will still be taking God’s gift of human sexuality and using it for a lower purpose.

Yet, I know that unless we can somehow reach people where they are, we won’t reach them at all. I just haven’t figured out how to do this yet.

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About Cimachol

A Catholic revert who struggles with depression and wrestled with pornography addiction for decades before overcoming it. I try to help other people do the same.
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